This weekend, hundreds of thousands of sports fans will tune in to see a proud annual U.S. tradition. Two teams of mighty, muscular athletes will plow about in bulky padding and tight pants, vying for control of a small leather, oblong to carry, throw, and kick with strategic abandon. Viewers will watch eagerly, making sure not to miss a single moment...of the special commercials.
But wait! We have early-breaking news that could seriously affect expectations for the big day! Word has it that for all of February 1 (U.S. Standard Time), prices at the A.P. Online store are going to be deflated by 12% off everything! We realize this is below regulation PSI (Price per Stressed Income), but we know it'll let you get a better grip on your finances! With all that pressure taken off your wallet, relax and enjoy our big sale all day long, not just at halftime!