Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives, Pirates, Ninjas—you know the drill. Since caveman times, men have debated the issues on all sides. Now, in the most tumultuous election year in history, Pirates and Ninjas will clash in that most savage of blood sports, politics! The topic of debate has kept the internets a-buzzing for centuries: Who would win in a fight? Bear witness as these beloved candidates argue the finer points of defense (murder), interrogation techniques (torture), and economics (pillagin'). Can these mortal enemies maintain the dignified composure required for political discourse, or will it be yet another unholy bloodbath? Don't throw your vote away, tune in and make your choice! We are Antarctic Press, and we approve this message.